Thursday, December 29, 2011

It's 4:00 in the Morning!

Some nights just are too short. Either that, or my brain is too small. When I wake up at 3am and there is no more sleep because my brain will not quit racing, I wish for a peaceful place or maybe a bigger hammer. My sister sent be a CD for Christmas that is supposed to help you meditate and relax. Normally it works fine but not this morning. Why can't I have an "off" button to the mind. I feel stretched in all directions and no solutions in sight. On the other hand, maybe, just maybe, if the stress were to lessen I might have nothing to keep me erect and I would melt to a blob on the floor. What a nice relaxful thought!

Monday, December 26, 2011

The Day After Christmas or Memories of the Past

I love Christmas. In spite of the bustle and rush and the lack of money to do all I would like, I love Christmas. Christmas is family and love. Christmas is remembering our Savior and putting life in perspective. Christmas is looking outside oneself for awhile and looking to the star that leads us to others.

Those who are wise will follow the guidelines—the stars—to where the true meaning of life waits to lift us and make us truly happy. How simple life was when we were on our mission. Yes, getting up early was hard. Knocking on doors when they were home but didn't want to talk to you was hard. Listening to promises that weren't going to be kept was hard. But, doing the things each day that were devoted to others was somehow more fulfilling than anything else we could have been doing.

The year started off with the loss of Bruce's mother. We held the funeral on her 96th birthday. I still am not used to having her gone and often have to resist the urge to phone her to share something or to see how she is doing. She was my mother as well as Bruce's for 47 years. Not visiting with her on Christmas Day was sad.

Visiting with my own mother was wonderful. She is 93 and still in her own home, although that is a constant source of worry for me. I wish she were closer or that the freeway wasn't such a mess in Utah valley. It used to take 35-40 minutes to get to her. Now I have to allow almost an hour to get there. Plus I'm white-knuckled upon arrival.

Today I'm thinking about Christmas as I review the last two days. Christmas Eve with family gathered to share the nativity story, eat tamales, and to open gifts. Our little living room was brim full of love and peace, even with a two-year-old exploring. Christmas Day opening more gifts and then attending a wonderful church service with the music that uplifts in builds. We even had a nap after church before driving to my mother's house. There we shared more stories, ate three kinds of soups plus other goodies, and opened more gifts. Phone calls from those not there made the day complete.

Today we look forward to opening presents with more grandchildren. What should I fix to eat?